What if I never get married?
Being a college mentor, I hear this question a lot. “What if I never get married?”
First of all, I get it. When I was 20 I was totally terrified to end up middle aged with my only companions as jelly donuts and 17 cats.
I’m in my 30’s now, married with kiddos (no cats) and a little life under my belt. Now I see this question much differently.
I look across our lattes as we sit together at the coffee shop listening to the NINETEEN year old worried she won’t find a husband. With genuine love totally remembering feeling that way I look at you now and honestly want to say, “You are an infant!!! What in the actual heck are you worried about!”
Good news from my side of the fence:
Do you know how many of my friends (also my age) from college, sorority sisters, or anyone I even knew that did NOT get married?
As in 1 more than 1. As in only 2.
I don’t know how to prove what kind of odds that is other than comparing how many people I currently know on facebook. Assuming we know about the same amount of people that gives you a .0016 chance that you won’t get married.
The odds are in your favor.
While I only have 2 friends that never married I know tons of people who are fighting custody battles with their kids because they are divorced. Or married and miserable.
Permission to speak freely here?
While there are few guarantees in the marriage and dating world I do have one guarantee for you.
The decisions you make today, in your young and single life WILL affect your marriage one day. The debt you accrue, the sexual relationships you have, the mistakes you make today will follow you into marriage. Contrary to popular belief there is no erase button to hit as you walk down the isle in a white dress.
But there is good news, You have the option to look differently than the world. Protecting your heart. Protecting your body. Working on becoming the best future wife you can be with as little baggage to carry into the marriage as possible.
Worry less about getting married and more about becoming a whole complete and loved by Jesus YOU. Wouldn’t you want your future husband to be doing the same thing?
Here is a simple question that will help make this easier. Before you go to that party, make that purchase or go home with that guy ask yourself,
“Will this decision cause me to want to lie in my next relationship?”
Guarding your heart, protecting your body and seeking your heavenly father FIRST will prepare you for the marriage you want. Not jumping from relationship to relationship.
I think the real question is not “Will I get married?” but “Is my God big enough to take care of this?”
He is a good father. He sees you begging and pleading for what you think will fulfill your heart. But he loves you too much to let you believe the lie that another human can fill the void that only He can fill. He wants to pour into your broken places and make you whole and complete. He doesn’t want you to settle for less, he wants you to be fully cherished and for you to have a life partner to give you a tiny glimpse of how much your heavenly father loves you.
Enjoy your single time. Make the most of it. And don’t worry. He’s got this.