Imagine it’s Saturday night and a cute guy across the bar buys you a drink. You thank him for his gesture and you strike up a conversation. Two more free drinks later and you feel you owe him something.
This may, or may not have been his original intention, but either way, accepting a free gift makes you feel you owe the other party and there is a reason why…
Dear friend DON’T FALL FOR THIS GIMMICK
I get it, you feel bad, congratulations that just means your human. But the only person you ever owe, is yourself. In the bar example, this guy will soon be forgotten and you have yourself to live with the rest of your life.
Tips for not falling victim to the law of reciprocity
I’m a big fan of making a plan for what you define is acceptable and what is not. For example, if you don’t want to go home with a random stranger from the bar (and I hope you don’t, read this post if you do)
MAKE A PLAN
If someone buys you a free drink, politely say thank you and MOVE ON. Also why not MAKE A PLAN to have only one drink? Drinking to the point of blurred decision making is never a good idea anyway. I’ve never heard anyone wake up the next day and wish they had more to drink, also if you are under 21…I hope he is buying you a sprite.
In a different scenario if you are in a relationship and you boyfriend buys you a lot of stuff and you feel you OWE him. I hope you have a respectful conversation discussing how you feel. The right boyfriend would never want to make you feel you owe him anything. The right guy takes you out because he likes you, not because he is looking for something in return. If he brings that up…run the other direction.
Again, MAKE A PLAN. Define what physical lines you don’t want to cross and make it clear to your boyfriend. You are both someone’s future spouse, treat each other like it.
Real men lead women to Christ, not their bedroom.
Without question, you will be faced with “free offers” and have to wrestle with the guilt of owing someone. Here’s the takeaway that I said earlier and it needs repeating,
YOU are the only person you need to make happy. You DON’T need a 25 lb bag of mozzarella sticks (which may or may not have happened to be at Costco recently) and you don’t owe that boy a THING.
Make a plan, set yourself up for success and go home this weekend with pride, not regret.
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