It doesn’t make any sense

I don’t understand how much God loves me.  Maybe that isn’t the Christian thing to say but I honestly cannot even grasp it.  I don’t know of any other example of that kind of love.  Every love I see is based on conditions:  If you love me, I’ll love you back. When you stop, I will stop.  Marriages rarely survive things like infidelity or even years of getting on each other’s nerves. 

But isn’t that what we have done to Jesus?  Haven’t we cheated on him COUNTLESS times with “other god’s” like our job, our ego, or just being too busy.  I’m sure we have “gotten on his nerves” by being disobedient or making poor choices. 

We had a horrible case of the stomach flu here last week.  The baby was sick for almost two weeks with nothing we could do but let it run its course.  As any parent knows there isn’t much worse than caring for a sick baby.  You want so bad to take their pain away.  I know a stomach bug is small fries when I think of my friends facing much larger battles. But when her weak little body wouldn’t hold any food all I could think was, God please just let her feel better!  If it will take the sickness from her put it on me instead!

Just then I got it..for a second, I understood.  That is God’s love.  We don’t deserve a relationship with God, our sin separates us.  But Jesus said, put the sin on me. I’ll take it for them.  (I have tears as I type).  Even if it means I have to die, the worst death you can imagine…I love them that much.  I’ll stand in the gap for you God and for them. 

He didn’t even know me!  It was so many years before I was ever even a thought.  But he did it for me too!??  I don’t understand!!  I fall short all the time, and worse sometimes I am too lazy to even make an effort to fall.  But he loves even me??  He didn’t deserve death, I did!  He did no wrong!

It’s so simple yet so hard to grasp.  I guess that’s why He calls it a gift.  It’s a gift because I didn’t have to work to get it.  It was given to me because He loves me.  I was made in His image,  a prized creation.

He doesn’t want me to earn His love, or try to pay Him back somehow.  He just wants me to realize the great big crazy love He has, accept it, and do what comes totally natural after that…Love him back.

Father I am daily in awe of the colossal tremendous love that you give me, no strings attached.  I know I’m not worthy but you love me just the same.

You are amazing God.


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