Hollywood, Marketing, Sex and You

We live in a pornographic world, especially in Hollywood.

Producers and writers have an unspoken contest to see who can push the envelope the most without “going too far.”  To make things more interesting “too far” is a line that keeps moving, so no one is even sure what is socially acceptable anymore.

A sitcom scene of a couple waking up the morning after to say, “What’s your name again?” now cues the canned laughter soundtrack. Hollywood has written countless scripts with the message: It is downright hilarious to have sex with someone whose name you don’t even know. Casual sex is laughed off and wearing next to nothing is, “adorable” Yet right now everyone is up in arms because undefined lines have been crossed.

To be honest, I’m just confused.

Marion Joiner said it best:

Sex is not just a physical activity; it is sacred. And I’m sick of hearing media and the world speak two vastly different ethics. On one hand, the media endorses pornography, laughs at adultery, and mocks sexual purity. Then, on the other hand, this same media cries out at the injustice done to victims. I find this hypocrisy a little much. You can’t claim it is no big deal in one arena and then condemn it in the other. -sex is sacred

Here’s the thing. I am 100% behind the “me too” movement. I have no doubt there has been unwanted abuse endured by many frightened and intimidated women inflicted by Hollywood stars. But I also think we all need to realize this obnoxious hypocrisy.

How can 50 shades of grey make millions of dollars, yet we cry foul when the script plays out in people’s actual lives? -Katie Bulmer

I was a marketing major and have worked in media and advertising for 15 years. I know first hand the media is fueled by our buying power. While I would love to wave my finger at Hollywood, my marketing experience has taught me, it is not the big city execs that decide what we see, it’s the consumers. Every time a sex-saturated movie, magazine, or song is purchased we are shouting to the media, “We love it! Keep it up!” The confusing part is, we also tell the media, “But don’t go too far…we don’t know where the line is, we only know when it is crossed.” Could you imagine working in an environment where you are asked to produce sex-saturated “hilarious” shows yet if you act on any of it we will blast you all over the news?

I think Hollywood is confused too.

I have never met you but I would guess you want integrity to define your life. I, also know from our outcry everytime a Hollywood star falls from a pedestal, we expect our role models to be characterized by integrity as well.

The good news is, we have a voice in this matter! I believe consumers can do more than sit idly by as war wages on our young women. It’s time to stand up for what we want to see in Hollywood. We VOTE with our dollars. We can say, “no” to the sitcoms and movies laughing off casual sex. We can say, “no” to the music downloads singing about women as a commodity. We can say, “yes” to media that honors women, portrays healthy families and doesn’t cheapen the sacred gift that is sex.

I once met this really cute guy who totally transformed the way I thought on this subject (spoiler alert I married him). Integrity has always been a characteristic he wanted to define his life. Before we were even dating he made a decision to fill his mind with as little fake images as possible. The way he put it, “I want less to compare my wife to one day.” (I know right!!! He’s taken sorry ladies).

This is totally counter-cultural so let me say this a different way: Starting in high school, Bryan’s goal became to see his future bride as the only woman in the world versus comparing her to countless photoshopped images of unrealistic barbie dolls. As his wife, all I can say is I am so thankful.

Don’t we all want this? Don’t we all want to be seen by our mate as “the only woman in the world?” We have a say in this matter! I vote it’s time to raise the bar and consider what we pour into our brain. We decide what influences us and we have more power than we realize as to what influences Hollywood and our entire media infrastructure.

Let’s define what is entertaining. Let’s consider the living and breathing humans who are acting out what entertains us. I believe there are men and women in Hollywood trying to lead a career of dignity and honor in a pornographic world. We can help by deciding what we consume with our eyes.

Let’s not just flirt with the lines of ‘too far’  Let’s run the other direction toward honor and respect. Katie Bulmer 

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