What if Jesus meant all that stuff about sex?

Top Blog post for 2017

The Corinthian people were having sex with whoever, whenever, and pretending it was all fun and games (I think this was the ancient version of the bachelor). In their time and day, they even had “temple prostitutes.” I’m not even kidding. I can’t even imagine going to church back in this day and age.

So this guy named Paul wrote a letter, to the Corinthian people that was so revolutionary, and so foreign to their culture, there was no way anyone could have made this up. Their ears perked up.  

“I am allowed to do anything. Yes; but not everything is good for you.” 1 Corinthinas 6:12

Katie Paraphrase: Sure you are ALLOWED to eat donuts and frappuccinos all day but I don’t think you will like the consequences.

“Don’t you see? Sex joins two people together. The two will become one. Therefore, RUN from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. (1 Corinthians 6:18)

Katie Paraphrase: Sex joins two people together at our deepest, most intimate level. Let’s not flirt with the line lines of “too far” but run toward integrity and respect.

TIME OUT

Can you imagine this today? Pretend a philosopher, who studies all sides of the matter, is making headlines because he has discovered the secret to lasting relational and sexual satisfaction. His words are full of clear and uncomplicated instructions on how we should handle sex. All your friends are posting to social media about it. This is a BIG DEAL. This is exactly what happened when Paul said these words in Corinthians.

But there is no way those words still apply to us today right!? Are Paul’s words telling us there is something more to this sex thing than just recreational play between two consenting adults?

NO WAY!  Surely 50 Shades of Grey can’t be wrong!

Ok, let’s forget this Bible mumbo jumbo and look to science for a second.  Maybe scientist have a breakthrough discovery that will say something more current.  

 

 

 What science says about sex:

“There are three main neurohormones that are released during sex. Dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin.  These chemicals work together to give us pleasure and bond us together. Oxytocin in particular, tells the brain, “Once connected, stay connected. Sex bonds us at a relational, physical and chemical level. It is a powerful force”“Sex and the Brain” 

“The human brain appears to be specifically designed to encourage monogamous, trust, and commitment-based marriages—even to the point of possessing intricately coordinated brain chemical production.” Science and the bible agree on sex

When a woman is touched in a loving way, her brain secretes oxytocin, which activates feelings of closeness and trust. When this is experienced outside the commitment of marriage, women can become deceived into thinking a bad relationship is good because of the effects of touch-dependent oxytocin. And when that relationship ends, the broken bond and feelings of betrayal of trust can lead to severe emotional trauma. New science on how casual sex is affecting our children

For men, an effect of vasopressin—which floods a man’s brain during intercourse—is that it leads to a bonded feeling with his partner. Research shows that if he has intercourse with multiple partners, the bonded feeling is dissipated, eventually imperiling a man’s ability to form long-term attachments.- McIlhaney and Bush M.D

Gosh, that’s weird, it’s almost as if God knew the science and emotional bond behind his very creation!

No, no, no, I’m quite sure the writers of Cosmopolitan magazine know more about sex than God. Maybe a Ph.D. in the in the area of relationships would know best.  Let’s see what they have to say. 

What Therapist say about sex:

“In the counseling office, individuals rarely if ever weep scalding tears about any other sense of loss like they do for a sexual relationship when it ends. There are soul ties that bind two partners together in unseen ways and there is a sense that part of you has been stolen. There is a hole in your soul where the connection was ripped from you.”  – Dr. Waylon Ward  Professional Couselor, author and speaker

“20 years as a counselor has told me nothing has the ability degrade, cheapen, wound. and rob a sense of who you are as does sex outside of its original design.” -anonymous therapist

Hmmmmmm

These scientist and counselors make an interesting point….what did Paul’s letter say again?

The two shall become one

In the very beginning, God said on Adam and Eve’s wedding day,

“The two are united into one (Genesis 2:24).”

God who made every cell in our body, God who created hormones, God who crafted the very idea of Dopamine, Serotonin, and Oxytocin.  He knew how deeply sex can bond, He also knew the depth to which it would scar if shared with just anyone. So God gave us sex in marriage. True intimacy, true vulnerability, naked, beautiful, cherishing and honoring love as Adam looked at Eve as the only woman in the world. 

This was the original design.  

I believe this is still the design today. After a couple is married, the two become one and see each other as the only man or the only woman in the whole world, because, in their eyes, they are.

Consider that your heavenly father knows how to care for you better than the movies and the magazines. Take a moment to fathom that God gave you the gift of your sexuality and wants you to enjoy it, but not with just anyone. Just as we said you are “allowed” to eat donuts all day, there are natural consequences to that behavior. This is not a matter of opinion or even religion, this is a matter of how we are DESIGNED. 

Past mistakes are in the past. There are not even enough words to combat the struggles we face coming from a sexual past, but judgment is not one of those words. This post is about grace, new beginnings, and a hope for the younger me looking for love in all the wrong fraternity boys. Let’s consider maybe sex really is sacred and these scriptures are just as true today as they were then.

Today we can decide to draw the line in the sand and protect our eyes, bodies, and heart for God’s best for our lives, wouldn’t you want your future spouse to be doing the same?

-Katie Bulmer
@katiebulmer.life

 

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