What if Jesus meant all that stuff about sex?
Our culture is sex-saturated no doubt, but did you know 2019 Americans are not the first to have this issue? In fact, “sex everywhere” is not a new thing at all. Sex obsession dates back to biblical times! I’m not even making this up!
Around 40 AD The Corinthian people were having sex with whoever, whenever, and pretending it was all fun and games (I think this was the ancient version of the bachelor).
So this guy named Paul wrote a letter, to the Corinthians (ancient version of a viral Facebook post). His letter was as if he was reading the mind of all the guys and girls looking for love in all the wrong places, their ears perked up.
“I am allowed to do anything. Yes; but not everything is good for you.” 1 Corinthinas 6:12
Katie Paraphrase: Sure you are allowed to eat donuts and pizza all day, every day but there are natural consequences to that behavior. Sure you are allowed to have no strings attached sex but there are natural consequences.
“Don’t you see? Sex joins two people together. The two will become one. Therefore, RUN from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. (1 Corinthians 6:18)
Katie Paraphrase: Sex joins two people together at our deepest, most intimate level. If you share this fragile and sacred gift with just anyone it WILL HURT YOU.
Paul is telling us there is something more to this sex thing than just recreational play between two consenting adults?
NO WAY! Surely 50 Shades of Grey can’t be wrong!
Ok, let’s forget this Bible mumbo jumbo and look to science for a second. Maybe scientist has a breakthrough discovery that will say something more current.
Photo cred https://www.ashlyncathey.com/
What science says about sex:
“There are three main neurohormones that are released during sex. Dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. These chemicals work together to give us pleasure and bond us together. Oxytocin in particular, tells the brain, “Once connected, stay connected. Sex bonds us at a relational, physical and chemical level. It is a powerful force”
“The human brain appears to be specifically designed to encourage monogamous, trust, and commitment-based marriages—even to the point of possessing intricately coordinated brain chemical production.”
When a woman is touched in a loving way, her brain secretes oxytocin, which activates feelings of closeness and trust. When this is experienced outside the commitment of marriage, women can become deceived into thinking a bad relationship is good because of the effects of touch-dependent oxytocin. And when that relationship ends, the broken bond and feelings of betrayal of trust can lead to severe emotional trauma.
For men, an effect of vasopressin—which floods a man’s brain during intercourse—is that it leads to a bonded feeling with his partner. Research shows that if he has intercourse with multiple partners, the bonded feeling is dissipated, eventually imperiling a man’s ability to form long-term attachments.
– McIlhaney and Bush M.D
Gosh, that’s weird, it’s almost as if God knew the science and emotional bond behind this sex thing.
No, no, no, I’m quite sure the writers of Cosmopolitan magazine know more about sex than God. Maybe a Ph.D. in the in the area of relationships would know best. Let’s see what they have to say.
What Therapist say about sex:
“In the counseling office, individuals rarely if ever weep scalding tears about any other sense of loss like they do for a sexual relationship when it ends. There are soul ties that bind two partners together in unseen ways and there is a sense that part of you has been stolen. There is a hole in your soul where the connection was ripped from you.”
– Dr. Waylon Ward Professional Couselor, author and speaker
“20 years as a counselor has told me nothing has the ability degrade, cheapen, wound. and rob a sense of who you are as does sex outside of its original design.” -anonymous therapist
These scientist and counselors make an interesting point….what did Paul’s letter say again?
Photo cred https://www.ashlyncathey.com/
God invented sex
In the very beginning, God said on Adam and Eve’s wedding day,
“The two are united into one (Genesis 2:24).”
This sentence was the very first reference to sex in our history. In the original greek the word “echad” is used. Translating “bonding together at the deepest level”
Katie translation, Sex is like concrete.
In marriage it will bond the couple for life, no matter the storms of life, no matter what gets dropped on it or steps on top. It is made to bond forever.
But as you have seen from a construction site, torn up concrete is a big hot mess. It leaves broken pieces everywhere, what was made to be bonded together forever require a jackhammer to tear apart and the dust will be falling for weeks (sounds a lot like freshman year of college am I right?)
God who created hormones, who crafted the very idea of Dopamine, Serotonin, and Oxytocin. Of course, He knew how deeply sex can bond, He also knew the depth to which it would scar if shared with just anyone. God made sex a sacred bond to share with a life partner. True intimacy, true vulnerability, naked, beautiful, cherishing and honoring love as Adam looked at Eve as the only woman in the world.
This was the original design.
I believe this is still the design today. After a couple is married, the two become one and see each other as the only man or the only woman in the whole world, because, in their eyes, they are.
Consider your heavenly father knows how to care for your one and sacred body better than the movies and the magazines. Take a moment to fathom that God gave you the gift of your sexuality and wants you to enjoy it, but it is too precious of a gift to be shared with just anyone.
As the evidence shows, this is not a matter of opinion or even religion, this is a matter of how we are DESIGNED.
Past mistakes are in the past. There are not even enough words to combat the struggles we face coming from a sexual past, but judgment is not one of those words. This post is about grace, new beginnings, and hope for the younger me looking for love in all the wrong fraternity boys. Let’s consider maybe sex really is sacred and you were meant for more.
Today we can decide to draw the line in the sand and protect our eyes, bodies, and heart for God’s best for our lives. Wouldn’t you want your future spouse to be doing the same?