Making Friendships in Your Twenties (and beyond)

Are you in your twenties and find yourself struggling with making friendships?  Do you keep wondering what happened because you cannot ease into close friendships as you did in high school or college?

No big deal but the authors of this book were on Good morning America the day before this interview!! Jess Johnston and Amy Weatherly hit on all points of friendshipKatie Bulmer invited two amazing ladies to speak on her podcast: Jess Johnston and Amy Weatherly. They are the authors of I’ll be There (But I’ll Be Wearing Sweatpants). Along with that, they are the creators of the page, “Sister I am with You.” These are both outlets that dive deeper into friendships and how to find a community. Both women were bloggers separately, who actually slid into each other’s DM’s. Not only do they preach about developing new friendships from research, but also through personal experience. They had to create and deepen a friendship with each other in order to obtain their goals.

First and foremost, they reveal a hard truth: sometimes you must make the first step. People will not just show up at your house asking for friendships. Whenever we make the first step, it will be awkward. Every first encounter is typically awkward, but that does not mean it cannot be a good one. In addition to awkwardness, there will be rejection. As terrifying and hurtful as it can be, it will help you grow. You must find the wrong people to get to the right people.

So, how do we build new friendships? You start by building the foundation of the friendship BEFORE you go through a storm together. This means giving the effort, doing the work, and committing to making this new friendship a priority. Jess and Amy’s advice is to be the kind of friend you want to have. Therefore, be open, honest, and vulnerable. Do not put on a façade because ultimately your goal is to be known and accepted by these people.

Let people see your messy house and life. Come to them in humility and vulnerability, and they will do the same. I promise you they will feel relieved to see you have just as messy of a life as they do. This will help you establish comfort and trust. EVERYONE has flaws and messes, but that is what connects you. Connection with others is extremely important. How do you establish that and live now but gain the connections people had back then? INTENTIONALITY! Get out in some way each day so you must interact with at least one person. Friendships are work, but they are so rewarding. If you want specific guidance on how to build a friendship, reach out to Katie Bulmer because she would love to talk with you!