To the girl thinking, Will I ever get married?

“Will I ever get married?” I’ve done college mentoring for 15 years, and I get this question A LOT.

First of all, I get it. When I was 20 I was totally terrified to end up middle aged with my only companions as jelly donuts and 17 cats.

I’m 41 now, married with kiddos (just one cat) and a little life under my belt.  Now I see this question much differently.  

I look across our lattes as we sit together at the coffee shop listening to the NINETEEN year old worried she won’t find a husband. With genuine love totally remembering feeling that way I look at you now and honestly want to say, “You are an infant!!!  You still need to be rocked to sleep at night! What in the actual heck are you worried about?!”

Good news from my side of the fence:

Do you know how many of my friends (also my age) from college, sorority sisters, or anyone I even knew that did NOT get married?

Two

As in 1 more than 1.  As in only 2.

 Assuming we know about the same amount of people that gives you a  .0016 chance that you won’t get married.

The odds are in your favor.

While I only have 2 friends that never married I know tons of people who are fighting custody battles with their kids because they are divorced, or married and miserable.

Permission to speak freely here?

 While there are few guarantees in the marriage and dating world I do have one guarantee for you.  

We are all on a paths and our paths lead us somewhere. You are either growing in your faith or not. Becoming physically fit, or not. Healing from the past, or not. No one drifts toward better, better takes work.

But there is good news, Healthy marriages start with healthy singles. You have the option to look different than the world and bring your best self to a relationship.

Worry less about getting married and more about becoming a whole complete and loved by Jesus YOU. Wouldn’t you want your future husband to be doing the same thing?

I think the real question is not “Will I get married?” but  “Is my God big enough to take care of this?”

He is a good father. He sees you begging and pleading for what you think will fulfill your heart. But He loves you too much to let you believe the lie that another human can fill the void that only He can fill.

He wants to pour into your broken places and make you whole and complete. He doesn’t want you to settle for less, he wants you to be fully cherished and for you to have a life partner to give you a tiny glimpse of how much your heavenly father loves you.

Enjoy your single time. Make the most of it.  And don’t worry.  He’s got this.

But in the meantime, make sure you have taken my number one quiz, Make a Dating Plan. 🙂

Book I suggest to learn more: The Sacred Search by Gary Thomas